


stars in our eyes

by chordProg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (maybe more ships I haven't decided yet lmao), Angst, Canon Compliant, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rivals to Lovers, kageyama is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-08 08:11:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chordProg/pseuds/chordProg
Summary: Hinata Shoyou knew two things for sure in his life:1. Volleyball was his passion.2. Kageyama Tobio was frustrating.But when Daichi took the team on a team-bonding trip, Kageyama becomes frustrating for a whole other type of reason.And Hinata wishes he never went on that trip.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let's goooo boys

On days like these, Shoyou felt more alive.

The squeak of the court beneath his feet, the feel of the volleyball against his palm, and the sound of the heavy rain beating on the walls outside gave him a sense of purpose. He was meant to be here. This was his calling. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he observed his surroundings.

They had divided their team in half to play a mock match, with the underclassmen on one side and the third years on the other. Sugawara let out a hearty laugh as Kageyama served the ball into the back of Yamaguchi’s head. Yeah, Shoyou thought, this is pretty awesome.

“Hey, dumbass, wake up!” Kageyama slapped his back as a warning. Shoyou glared at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake.” He grumbled. Kageyama just rolled his eyes and focused back on the game, muttering something about ‘discipline.’ See, that was something Hinata could live without. Kageyama’s constant snarky remarks could only be so bearable. But, he was an amazing setter, so Shoyou tolerated it. To an extent.

His gaze lingered on Kageyama as his back muscles flexed when he moved towards the ball. The way his cold and calculating gaze drifted over all of his teammates to size them up. The small smirk that graced his face when he accomplished a successful shot. Hinata couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at his skill and calm demeanor.

Though, Shoyou remembered, he could get Kageyama to drop that facade by just challenging him at the smallest things. Shoyou never understood why it was so easy for him to upset Kageyama. He never saw anyone else, save for Tsukishima, get under his skin the same way Shoyou managed to. Was it possible that Kageyama found the prospect of dealing with Shoyou just bothersome as Shoyou thought of him?

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Diachi called the team over to end practice. He gazed at his team with a satisfied grin. “I am so pleased with what I’ve seen today, guys. Ennoshita, great footwork. Tanaka, loosen up when you serve. You look frigid.” Everyone laughed at that last comment. 

The captain continued to dole out praises and criticisms, and talked about future plans for the team. Shoyou was starting to zone out when he heard something Daichi said. “So, Suga and I were discussing the other day some ways to raise team morale, and we think we came up with the perfect thing. Suga, care to explain?”

Sugawara nodded respectfully, and then turned to his team. “Right, so, we were walking together last night when we decided to stop for some ramen,” Sugawara was interrupted from a couple of jeers from his teammates and a singular ‘Get some,’ from Tanaka.

He coughed uncomfortably. “Platonically, of course. Anyway, that’s not the point. When we were there, we saw a sign advertising a festival for the meteor shower coming up in a couple days. If you all could make time to come, we think it’d be a great team building outing.”

Shoyou was practically vibrating with excitement. He pulled on Kageyama’s sleeve repeatedly to get his attention. Kageyama glared at him. “For god’s sake, what?”

“Kageyama, I love space! This is so awesome!” He whisper-shouted. Kageyama shrugged the other boy’s hand of his shirt.

Shoyou bristled at the action. “Why would I care?” Kageyama side eyed him. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Shoyou rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s a big deal, you oaf. We barely get stars, let alone meteor showers. Don’t you want to see that?” He asked. Kageyama looked at him with an emotion he couldn’t quite process, and then nodded stiffly. 

Their conversation was stopped short when Daichi gave them a silencing look. “We leave at 6:00 pm on Thursday. There should be a bus waiting for us by the gym. Kiyoko is going to ask coach to drive us. When we get there, I don’t want to see any funny business! Especially from you two!” He directed a pointed gaze at Tanaka and Nishinoya, who grinned devilishly.

“Can’t make any promises, Dai. We’re rebels.” Nishinoya said proudly, attempting to impress the managers who were standing nearby.

Tsukishima grinned. “And what fearsome rebels you will be, crying after you burn yourselves on the grill they have there.” Nishinoya glared at him. And if he weren't standing right next to him, Shoyou wouldn’t of heard the breathy chuckle that Kageyama just did. Shoyou couldn’t believe it; the king of the court actually found something funny.

“Was that a laugh I just heard?” He asked, amusement lacing his voice. Kageyama huffed in annoyance, but otherwise didn’t reply. 

“Alright, that about covers it, you’re free to go home now!” Daichi dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

Kageyama turned to Shoyou, that all to familiar competitive gleam in his stormy blue eyes. Wait, why was he thinking about his eyes? Focus, Shoyou! “I bet I could beat you to the entrance of the school,” Kageyama said haughtily. He didn’t even wait for Shoyou’s response before he started to position himself in to a running stance. He already knew what he would say back.

Shoyou scoffed. “I bet you’d fall on your face before even exiting the gym.”

The two sized each other up for a split second. And like an unspoken conversation happened between them, they both sprinted out the door at the same time. The wind bit at his face as he raced through the school courtyard. The cold rain pelted his face and refreshed his mind as he made his way towards the school gates.

He didn’t even spare a glance at Kageyama, but he could hear the squelch of his shoes on the ground and the other boy’s strangled breaths as he attempted to beat Shoyou’s pace. The trees around them smelled heavily of cedar, a scent he had become quite acquainted with during his time at Karasuno.

He reached the gates at the same time as Kageyama did, and turned to him with a wide grin on his face. That was, until, he saw the state Kageyama was in. The other boy was drenched in the rain, his black hair plastered to his forehead and his white shirt sticking to his torso. The stormy gray sky around him seemed to frame his face regally, his dark blue eyes gazing off into the distance. His cheeks were rosy with the blood that rushed to his face during the run. The rain dripped off his sharp jaw, and Shoyou couldn’t help feeling a little breathless.

Good god, how had he never realized how attractive Kageyama was before? He looked like he came straight from a magazine. Kageyama looked at him with those piercing eyes. “I guess it’s 91-87 now, huh? Unless you count my extra step ahead of you as my win.” This broke Shoyou out of his stupor.

“Of course not, and you weren’t even a step ahead of me. It was a tie.” Shoyou scoffed. They stood in silence for a moment, just looking at each other. Kageyama broke the eye contact, a blush still present on his cheeks. Shoyou just assumed it was from the exercise.

“Well, uh, it’s raining pretty hard. I’ll see you monday, alright? Practice those spikes.” Kageyama nodded to him, and then moved speedily down the road towards his house.

Shoyou felt numb. Something had just happened, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. All he could tell was that Kageyama felt uncomfortable enough to leave hurriedly.

What had he done wrong?


	2. Grilled Chesse and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has trouble dealing his his emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story has been so fun so far, can't wait to post more chaps

It had been three days since the ‘incident.’

Shoyou was at a local gym, spiking a volleyball at the wall until his hands were sore. He had known for a while that he was bisexual, and accepted it, but the idea of finding Kageyama attractive was scary and new.

Sure, he wasn’t blind. He had always known Kageyama wasn’t ugly, per say. He was just so wrapped up in volleyball that he didn’t really have time to focus on anything else. While he was thinking this, he became unfocused from his task at hand, which promptly caused his volleyball to smack him dead in the nose.

“Shit!” He groaned, and massaged his wound. Jeeze, this was distracting him from doing important things like practicing. He knew for a fact that there was no way Kageyama returned his feelings, so he was just wasting his time thinking about him.

He went through the rest of his workout routine, the thoughts of a certain raven haired boy plaguing his mind. He packed up his things to go home, and went outside to grab his bike. The wind ruffled his ginger hair, and he raised his hand in front of his eyes to protect them from the blinding sun. He jumped on the bike, and then he was off.

Shoyou always loved the feeling of riding a bike through the hills of his home town. The normally stagnant scenery flew by in a blur as he frantically moved the pedals beneath his feet. He waved at all the pedestrians he passed, the characteristic bright smile he wore flashed at all of them. It felt homey, familiar.

Before he even reached the driveway to his home, the mahogany door flew open. A small, orange figure flew towards him, almost knocking him off his feet. He sighed, and glanced at the small girl in front of him. The little chaotic ginger grinned up at him through brown eyes that mirrored his own. “Sho!” She was bouncing on her heels. “Mommy and Daddy went to the store and said you’d make me lunch!” She gazed at him expectantly.

He smiled down at her. “Okay, grilled cheese sound good? I’ll add strawberries on the side.” She nodded excitedly, her eyes glittering. She raced inside, and Shoyou shook his head affectionately. Natsu had him wrapped around her little finger, and she knew it, too.

He was busy with her lunch when she walked into the kitchen, and pulled on his sleeve. “Nat, don’t do that. I’m too close to the stove to play with you right now.” He scolded her.

“No, I don’t wanna play. I gotta tell you something.” She whined, and Shoyou nodded expectantly. He couldn’t look at her directly, because he wasn’t exactly the best chef around and was afraid he would set the kitchen on fire if he didn’t observe it with laser intensity. “Your friend came to the house this morning. I told him you weren't here.”

“Oh? Which one?” He asked, absentmindedly. Whoever it was, Shoyou hoped it wasn’t anything important. He looked at Natsu, momentarily forgetting the grilled cheese.

Natsu frowned, her eyebrows knit in concentration. “He didn’t say his name. But I remember the way he looked like. He kinda looked like,” Natsu scowled, and used her small hands to push her hair down flat onto her head.

He paled. There was only one person he could think of with that description. He loosened his hand on the spatchula, not even realizing that he had been gripping it tighty. He schooled his face into a calmer expression as he moved Natsu’s grilled cheese onto a plate. “Did he say what he wanted?” He asked.

She nodded and waddled over towards the dinner table. “Yeah,” She said, sitting down. “He wanted to talk about volleyball.” Shoyou frowned. If Kageyama wanted to talk about volleyball, couldn’t it have waited until monday? “You said you’d get me strawberries.” She pouted.

He sighed. “I did say that, didn’t I? Okay, coming right up your highness.” He started to cut the strawberries into the half shape she liked. His thoughts drifted back to Kageyama again. What had he wanted? Did he want to talk about yesterday? Did he know the way Shoyou thought of him? No, that was ridiculous. Shoyou thought he was pretty good at hiding things like that.

“Sho? Sho?! SHOYOU?” Natsu waved her stubby fingers in front of his face. He was pulled from his thoughts abruptly as he turned to look at Natsu. “Your hand!” She cried. He cursed when she realized what she was talking about.

While he was distracted, he had let the knife slip and cut his hand. He rushed towards the sink, and began running his hands under the cool stream of water. First the volleyball and now this? He thought bitterly. Kageyama was really messing with his mind. After he finished cleaning and bandaging the wound, he collapsed on the living room couch.

The softness of the cushions was a welcome feeling after the awful start of the day he’d had. He drifted off into unconsciousness, and began to dream.

 

He was sitting underneath a park tree, his body limp. He felt a pleasant sensation in his chest, a warmth he was unfamiliar with. His surroundings were that of a secluded area deep in the woods, with a shimmering pond in front of him. 

“I thought you’d be here. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A voice behind him said. He turned his head every so slightly to see the figure. It was Kageyama, in a white shirt and black jeans. 

Kageyama sat down next to him under the tree, and gazed at Shoyou with a soft look. “Why were you at my house earlier?” Shoyou questioned, not looking him in the eye. Kageyama didn’t answer him for a second, before sighing.

“It doesn’t matter. Not anymore, at least.” He paused. “It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” He asked Shoyou gesturing to their surroundings. 

“You’re not real. This is just a dream…” Shoyou pointed out. Kageyama scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Obviously, dumbass. But the fact that I’m here in your dreams means you have some issues that need to be sorted out, yeah? Talk to me about it.” Shoyou was taken aback by these words. The real Kageyama would never ask him to talk to him about his feelings, ever. Shoyou nodded cautiously, and turned to look the raven haired boy in his captivating eyes.

Shoyou began, “I think I made you uncomfortable the other day when I looked at you funny, Kageyama. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just… I felt something I didn’t want to. That’s all.” He mumbled.

Dream Kageyama couldn’t give him an answer, and he knew it. This was all just a creation of his imagination. Kageyama looked at him, and then brought a hand to his cheek.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Kageyama smiled at him. A honest to god, very un-Kageyama like smile. Shoyou stiffened when Kageyama leaned in. He was so close, too close, for comfort. But this was just a dream, so maybe Shoyou could indulge a little. Shoyou relaxed, and tried to kiss the boy in front of him. But just as they were about to touch, he jolted awake.

 

He took deep breaths in and out, trying to calm his racing heart. God, he was so embarrassed. His subconscious really wanted Kageyama to call him beautiful. Was the asshole even invading his dreams now? Shoyou needed to get a grip on his emotions. 

He readjusted the blankets covering him. Burying his face in the pillows underneath him, he silently dreaded returning to school on monday.


	3. Angst and Empty Classrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's insecurities are revealed, and Kageyama tells some lies to save face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't been uploading these past few days, life has been h e c t i c. But I've finally been able to sit down and write this angst filled chapter. (This book was labled as angst for a reason haha.) Hope you enjoy!

You know that feeling when you become hyper aware of someone? You start seeing them so much more for no reason in particular, like a incurable plague?

Yeah, that’s how Shoyou felt. Kageyama seemed to be everywhere. When he was walking, Kageyama was at the other side of the hall, getting his books out of his locker. When he would lay his head down on his desk, he would see Kageyama out the window getting milk out of a vending machine.

In fact, Kageyama was everywhere besides next to Shoyou. He would deliberately try to make eye contact with the younger boy, but to no avail. Sure, he would speak to him during practice, and he asked why Kageyama went to his house. ‘To talk about volleyball.’ Was his answer. “To talk about volleyball my ass.” He internally grumbled. 

But that was all a couple days ago. Shoyou was now extremely alert of what exactly he and Kageyama’s relationship exactly was.

Partners. 

Kageyama wasn’t his friend. They knew each other extremely well, and were each other’s best ally, but they weren’t friends. They didn’t hang out outside of school, they didn’t joke around much, and they barely smiled at each other.

But he couldn’t help but feel very close with him. He felt sick to his stomach when he realized Kageyama probably didn’t feel the same way. In all fairness, he realized he didn’t really try to change that. He never really went out of his way to talk to Kageyama outside of volleyball, as much as he wanted to. 

Their paths just didn’t cross much. Shoyou had his friends and interests, and Kageyama had his. (As limited as Kageyama’s interests may be.) But he wanted more than that. He wanted to be someone Kageyama could trust, even if it was only on the court.

At this thought, he had an idea. He jogged up to Kageyama, who was pulling up his knee pads. “Hey, Kageyama!” He called, smiling with a slight wave. Kageyama nodded at him, a sign of acknowledgement. “Let’s hang out at the festival tomorrow!” 

Kageyama sputtered at this. “Uh, sure? But why me? Why not Nishinoya or someone else?” Kageyama had a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks, but Shoyou didn’t notice. He just sat down besides him on the bench, and observed the other players who were warming up.

“I’ve noticed that we don’t really hang out off the court, yeah? If I learn more things about you, you’ll be easier to beat someday.” He teased, his eyes glowing with mischief.

Kageyama scoffed. “What kind of logic is that, dumbass? But sure, we can go together. I don’t see why not.” He shrugged then, and they dropped the subject in favor of the scene in front of them. Tanaka and Nishinoya were currently in a heated debate over superheroes, and who would win in a fight: Captain Marvel or Captain America.

Nishinoya was emphatically supporting Captain Marvel, because, “Tanaka you idiot, haven’t you seen how strong she is?”

Which Tanaka countered with, “But Captain America is like, super buff. And have you seen that shield?”

“The most powerful captain here is me, because I can make you run if you don’t get your asses back on that court.” Daichi barked, which had the two players scrambling back to their places.

Shoyou giggled, and realized he too, should probably get back on the court lest he face Daichi’s wrath. He grabbed Kageyama by the wrist, and pulled them towards the net. “Why are you two holding hands?” Ennoshita asked, gesturing down between their bodies.

Shoyou flushed a bright red when he realized he had not, in fact, grabbed Kageyama’s wrist, but his hand instead. And coupled with the fact that he hadn’t let go yet, things seemed kind of suspect. Kageyama pulled his hand away harshly, startling Shoyou.

“It’s not what it looks like. Hinata didn’t mean to do that.” He reasoned to Ennoshita, who just grinned.

“Sure buddy, like you and him aren’t married already.” Ennoshita teased. 

Whether from anger or embarrassment, Shoyou couldn’t tell, Kageyama’s face turned red. “We are not. And even if I was gay, I would never date someone like him.” Kageyama spat. Shoyou felt his stomach drop. If he had any doubts before about Kageyama’s feelings, they were all gone now.

‘Someone like him.’ Kageyama had said. What did being someone like him entail? Was he too loud? Too talkative? Was he annoying to Kageyama? He didn’t think the setter’s words would hurt as much as they did. He always suspected ‘someone like him,’ would have a hard time getting love, and now it was confirmed.

With shaky hands and eyes on the verge of tears, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He rushed inside an empty classroom, and slid against the wall onto the linoleum floor. He mentally cursed at himself for letting someone’s opinions get the better of him.  
The classroom was dark and quiet, and strangely comforting because of it. It was always like a breath of fresh air to him when he got to sit in places like this, alone with his thoughts. It made the sadness easier to bear.

It was just that he hadn’t had a crush in so long, and the first thing someone did was dispariage him as a romantic partner. Or maybe, it was because it was Kageyama who did it. He looked up to the setter, (quite literally), so those words were even harder to hear. 

He prayed to god that Kageyama hadn’t noticed his weird behavior, because how awkward would that be to explain, right? He wasn’t crying, per say. It was more like silent reflection laced in sadness. He couldn’t be in the same room as Kageyama right then and played at his best.

Because while he knew his feelings were important, volleyball was more so. He would never be at his top performance if he was heartbroken by some dumb boy. ‘And that’s all he is, a dumb boy.’ He had thought bitterly, remembering how Kageyama had destroyed his feelings so easily.

Maybe the pain would have been lessened if Shoyou had more self confidence. Shoyou had always felt some sort of form of inadequacy. Because of these insecurities, he always pushed himself to be better as to avoid his own feeling

He pushed himself at volleyball, and jumping, at running, at making friends, at being happy, all to feel the adequacy that he so desperately craved. Maybe that’s why Kageyama didn’t want to be with someone like him. Someone so fake probably needed to focus on loving themselves before focusing on loving others.

But fuck, it hurt so much. He wanted someone to love him so bad, even if it wasn’t for long. Just to prove to himself that he was capable of being loved, and capable of giving it in return. He sighed heavily, and knocked his head back against the wall.

He wondered if the team was curious as to why he was taking so long in the ‘bathroom.’ He decided it was probably best to return just incase they were suspicious. 

Shaking himself out of his angsty mood, he made his way back to the gym. Sugawara looked at him concerned, and he gave the vice captain a reassuring smile. He wouldn’t let anyone be worried about him, not when he had to deal with things himself.

Kageyama walked up to him, his characteristic frown having a tinge of guilt in it. “Hey.” He began. “I think I offended you earlier. I’m sorry. I was just embarrassed and said some pretty hurtful stuff I didn’t mean. I think you’re a good spiker and that we’re a good team.” Kageyama’s frown deepened, and his words were forced, like he wasn’t used to talk about his feelings.

“It’s alright. You didn’t hurt my feelings,” Lies. “I also think we make a good team.” Shoyou offered, and Kageyama’s face softened. 

He let out a small sigh of relief. “I’m glad. Let’s go practice now.” He nodded, genuinely happy. He may feel dejected, but volleyball always cheered him up.

“Sure thing,” Hinata grinned. Even if off court, Kageyama was distant, he found comfort in how close they were on court. 

He closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath of air. Things would be better soon, he knew it.


End file.
